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Always and Forever

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August 5th, 2012

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you, I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

August 17th, 2010

(no subject)

The seasons may change
Like the colors of fall
Memories will cycle
Nostalgia will call
The air so light
And the wind so free
My arms are open wide
Now accepting thee
Feelings of passion
Pass through in waves
Tormenting troubles
Return to their graves
The breaking of dawn
Its warmth I can feel
Today will be everything
Short of unreal

April 13th, 2010

More shuffleness

How am I feeling today?
Come What May - Moulin Rouge (normally i agree, but today i'm too tired to think about this)

Will I get far in life?
What do you do with a BA in English? - Avenue Q (Geez, that sounds like such a strong no. I'm almost insulted by this answer)

How do my friends see me?
You Got It - 'N Sync (I do have it, thank you)

Where will I get Married?
We Go Together - Grease (Yes, as long as we're together, doesn't matter)

What is my best friend's theme song?
You're A God - Vertical Horizon (Is she the God, or does she think I am, interesting...)

What is the story of my life?
Let's Hear It For The Boy - Footloose (hehe I love boys ^_^)

What is/was highschool like?
The Remedy(I won't worry) - Jason Mraz (Yeah, ok, i'll take it)

How can I get ahead in life?
Who Knew - Pink (Gee, that's avoiding the answer...)

What is the best thing about me?
Bills, bills, bills - Destiny's Child (Yes I have bills. Surely I must have better things going for me)

How is today going to be?
This Love - Maroon 5 (If you say so, Itunes)

What is in store for this weekend?
Don't Stop Me Now - Queen (Yes, nothing will stop me from my structureness)

What song describes my parents?
Papa Don't Preach - Madonna (Mama don't preach would be better haha)

To describe my grandparents?
Love Gets Me Every Time - Shania Twain (Um, ok)

How is my life going?
Everybody Dance Now (Nah, too tired)

What song will they play at my funeral?
Pretty Fly for a White Guy - Offspring (I'm white, sure. But seriously?!)

How does the world see me?
Every Morning - Sugar Ray (I am up EVERY morning, and people do see me)

Will I have a happy life?
Bitch - Meredith Brooks (hahaha, im cynical)

What do my friends really think of me?
Autumn Goodbye - Britney Spears (did they miss me in the fall?)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Lady Marmalade - Moulin Rouge (So, yes?)

How can I make myself happy?
You can't stop the beat - hairspray (i love this song ^_^, so ok)

What should I do with my life?
No sex in the champagne room - Chris Rock (I promise, i won't)

Will I ever have children?
Behind these hazel eyes - kelly clarkson (my eyes are shit brown...)

What is some good advice for me?
Mr Brightside - The Killers (i should be more positive)

How will I be remembered?
Special - Avenue Q (in what way... this could go either way)

What is my signature dancing song?
Hips Don't Lie - Shakira (my hips lie sometimes)

What do I think my current theme song is?
Why Am I Always Right - Nightmare of You (haha im so cocky)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
God Blessed the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts (I'm romantic too)

What type of men/women do you like?
Alone - Heart (I like my men alone? maybe?)

April 7th, 2010

(no subject)

Who's to say what's wrong or right
Where exactly do the answers lie
In my heart is pure emotion
All bottled up, yet seldom shy
Clarity hath left my soul
Existing only in memories past
No longer knowing what the future holds
Or when I shall leave versus what will last
I took your hand with all sincerity
You led to me to place unknown
My environment not recognizable
My heart no longer made of stone
A loss of words hath overcome me
No longer fearing truth and lies
Your gentle touch hath warmed my soul
My reflection seen through your piercing eyes
For the first time, it does not matter
What will become when our story unfolds
For you have allowed me to know myself
Now happiness is what my future holds

February 18th, 2010

(no subject)

It's the most wonderful time fo the year...

Well, it's approaching anyway. It's the sunrise at 6am that lets you know "you can do this, today is the first day of the rest of your life" -that's what this time of the year feels like to me. I always loved spring the most, even the winter leading to it, to let me know it's coming. You know what I'm talking about? When the sun is coming up early in the morning, it's still not quite bright out, but the sky is so clear and so blue. It's a bit chilly out but you don't care, because the breathtaking sky warms your heart. It feels like a new beginning and reaffirms your faith that anything is possible and today will be as amazing as you make it. It's an enpowering "now or never, let's do this" kind of thing. I live for that moment, and I always start to feel it this time of year. Spring is truly the rebirth of my hopes and dreams.

January 14th, 2010

What women want

We want to be right about everything.
We don't know what we want otherwise b/c we don't want to committ to something, then find out we made the wrong decision. So yes, we have no idea what we want in life, love or otherwise. We just want to be right about everything.

November 24th, 2009

(no subject)

It's not that I don't like my job, it's that I don't like my job from about 3:30pm on. These last hours are so long. I want to go home and take nap. Oh, turkey time soon tho - short week = <3

I need to clean tonight, incase becky stays over. And I should probably have food in the fridge too. Ah well, I will. And doh! remember the coolers!



October 12th, 2009


AIM Profile Quotes

AIM Profile Quotes

AIM Profile Quotes

October 11th, 2009

My postcard


October 8th, 2009

Notes on needing attention


Why I always want attention:
- I've had a boyfriend, or at least a guy in love with me, since I was 14 and this hasn't stopped since
- My mom has smothered me with constant attention. I'm not used to doing anything without 3rd person input
- I'm the loud one of my friends. When I'm with them, the attention is usually directed toward me.
- I'm cute. Guys usually give me attention because of this.

Ways I try to get attention:
- Flirting. I know I can get any guy to be interested in me and I flirt to get that attention. Sometimes it gets out of hand.
- Being funny. I act ridiculous to get attention sometimes. And make jokes.
- Keeping lots of contacts. I go through a list of people, in order of preference, and call/IM/text them until I get someone's attention
- Acting mad or upset. Sympathy gets me attention. Its all acting. But I believe it sometimes b/c im so caught up in turning my life into a movie that I forget there's nothing really wrong.
- Lying. I tell people what they want to hear to get their attention. Or sometimes I just tell them something if I think it'll work well enough.

Problems that arise:
- I become a chronic liar
- I end up throwing myself on guys I don't care about b/c I want them to care about me.
- I get realllllly upset and uncomfortable if I get no attention whatsoever in public. Or worse, negative attention. I HATE to think people are looking at me and judging me. I'll flip out and cry.
- I make someone else mad by being psuedo mad.
- I annoy people by constantly draining them of their time for attention.


I have no idea. What do I do....

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